Can You Believe What She Did???!!!
April 27, 2010
The scene begins with Jesus teaching people early in the morning at the temple…
The scribes and Pharisees were so excited. They could hardly wait. They came barging into the teaching session, dragging a woman who had been caught in the very act of adultery. It’s hard to tell what they were most excited about: exposing this woman and her sin and stoning her or waiting to catch Jesus in a trap so that they could accuse him of fradulence for claiming to be the Son of God. But one thing is certain… they were so excited to lift themselves up at the expense of someone else. Read more
Am I Righteous Because I Can See A Little Wrong?
April 21, 2010
No one doubts that Ron Wilkins impacted the lives of many people before he died. However, there were people who would not have anything to do with him because he had spent time in prison. This is in spite of all the wonderful things he had done. One may wonder why this would happen to someone like Ron, but the answer is quite simple. It comes from one person thinking that someone else has an unforgivable sin and this attitude is an especially great temptation for people who have been raised in a spiritual environment. These people have been taught the mindset that if they have not done anything as bad as someone else, they must be more righteous than him. Read more
Deceptively Attractive
April 14, 2010
When I did some research on the idea of “window dressing” in preparation for this article, the results of a Google search on the topic basically amounted to two broad explanations of the expression. The first is the original, and literal, defintion of the word, which involves creating an attractive display of merchandise in a store window to draw customers in, and the other describes the practice of making something appear deceptively attractive or favorable. It is the second defintion which concerns this issue of the newsletter, but I found the juxtaposition of these two explanations particularly interesting when applied specifically to the world of the consumer and the world of the religious. Why is it that when it comes to selling products in stores, window dressing is simply considered good marketing, whereas when it comes to our personal lives, it is considered deceptive? Read more
I Drew My Circle Again (Thinking Error Game)
April 2, 2010
When I first became a member of the church, my circle was very big, for it included all who, like myself, had believed and had been baptized. I was happy in the thought that my brethren were many. But, having a keen and observant mind, I soon learned that many of my brethren were erring. Read more
Lessons on Compassion Part 2 of 2 Looking to the Future
April 1, 2010
The Apostle Peter repeatedly opened his mouth when being quiet would have been a better option. On the mount of Transfiguration, Peter spoke when he needed to listen (Mat. 17). When Jesus was talking about his death, Peter said it couldn’t happen. Jesus responded, “Get behind Me, Satan” (Mat. 16:23). Peter always seemed to be the spokesman for the group of 12 disciples. From what is written, it appears Peter lacked control over his mouth. If one were to consider only what is written about Peter in the Gospels, one might wonder why Jesus would have chosen Peter to be one of the twelve. After all, he made a lot of mistakes. Read more
Addressing the Reason for the Behavior
March 25, 2010
The western culture in which we live has a problem of having more choices available than ever before. This rings true for people who desire to address their own escape behaviors. There are currently so many options of escape, from drugs to surgical procedures, that it is very important to make sure the method used is not just a band aid. In other words, it is not enough to simply address symptoms; a person must address the reason for the behavior.
One SFT participant who had a problem with food addiction received gastric bypass surgery. Gastric bypass surgery is a procedure that prevents the stomach from allowing as much food intake as before. The problem the participant ran into was that she still wanted to overeat regardless of what size her stomach was. She had applied a band aid without addressing why she was overeating in the first place. She addressed a symptom rather than the problem.
On old country song by Webb Pierce provides a lyrical representation of this problem.
“There stands the glass… That will ease all my pain… That will settle my brain… It’s my first one today… There stands the glass… That will hide all my tears… That will drown all my fears… Brother, I’m on my way…
Chorus
“I’m wondering where you are tonight… I’m wondering if you are alright… I wonder if you think of me… In my misery… There stands the glass… Fill it up to the brim… ‘Til my troubles grow dim… It’s my first one to day.”
The song correctly illustrates the reason for his behavior, namely to escape what hurts him and forget about what is causing pain.
It is interesting to note that many programs available go straight into addressing the behavior without addressing the reason for the behavior. This is the reason people who have had gastic bypass surgery still overeat. It is why containment of a behavior alone will not be enough. Luke 6:43-45 says:
“For no good tree bears bad fruit, nor again does a bad tree bear good fruit, for each tree is known by its own fruit. For figs are not gathered from thornbushes, nor are grapes picked from a bramble bush. The good person out of the good treasures of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.”
In other words, if someone comes to SFT training and claims to stuggle with alcohol, we could say “do not drink anymore.” However, that would be like expecting an apple tree to produce oranges. Apple trees only produce apples and orange trees only produce oranges. Therefore, rather than address the fruit a person is producing, it makes more sense to address the tree (person).
A person who stops a behavior without changing himself is still the same person as before. This means that a relapse, a switch in behaviors, or “white knuckle” living is inevitable. Only when a person works to completely change himself can he fully shut down an unwanted behavior.
Lessons on Compassion Part 1 of 2 Understanding the Past
March 19, 2010
Everybody has a past. A person’s past can be full of joy and excitement, generating positive emotions, or it can be a time of constant discontentment and ultimate devastation, producing a wish to forget it entirely. Everyone’s past is different and a large part of what makes us who we are in the present. The past shapes and molds us through joy and suffering. It can be the source of many answers if we are willing to take the time to discover the lessons to be learned. Read more
Is Addiction a Disease or Sin PART 3
March 1, 2010
What about responsibility for individual behaviors and actions? There is no point at which an individual is not responsible for his or her own actions. However, when behaviors go past the point of being altered by choice, and they not only can but often do, not only is the person that uses the destructive behavior responsible for what he or she does, but those that are spiritual, according to Paul, have a responsibility to help restore the one who is overtaken by sin. Read more
Is Addiction a Disease or Sin PART 2
February 23, 2010
Could it be possible that both the secular and religious worlds’ views of addiction have value? Could it be that alcoholism, for example, does reach the point where it qualifies as a disease but is brought about by sinful choices as the religious world claims? What’s really happening when a behavior reaches the point that it cannot be stopped with maximum effort? If the behavior involved only sinful choices, then choice alone should be enough to stop. However, sadly that is not the case. Read more
Belief and its Consequences
February 19, 2010
One participant told a story he remembered from childhood. He was around four years old at the time and was playing with toys in his room while his parents were arguing downstairs. When his father was not at work, he was usually hanging out with friends, spending little time with the family. The participant’s mother and grandfather raised him when he was a little boy. His mother was very sheltering and his eighty-year old grandfather knew nothing about playing sports. While his parents were arguing, he overheard his dad tell his mother, “you are going to make that boy a sissy.” Read more
