When I was younger, this expression meant that I had left one property boundary and was perched on the fence and about perhaps to move off to the other side and the other property be it a yard, the woods, the road, etc. The expression is often times used in a way that is illustrative like this….
‘She needs to make a decision and stop sitting on the fence.’ Or ‘How much longer can they sit on the fence waiting.’
Many times, pausing or contemplating before making a next move or decision is a very wise thing to do. The pause might give opportunity to pray and see where God stands on the matter and also to consult those who would give us good spiritual or practical counsel.
Here, I desire to address a type of sitting on the fence that is very dangerous. A type that is very damaging to one’s own soul.
There are some today who are sitting on the fence within their own secret sexual sin. Recently, I was honored to listen to someone who had made the decision to get off the fence and be honest and seek some options for what was going on and what had become a much larger part of life than was ever intended.
Their comment was, “well, frankly, one is not going to put that information in the paper.” Meaning that shame, guilt, and fear often will keep someone for the time being sitting on the fence.
While some sitting on the fence can be of little consequence, sitting on the fence of secret behaviors tied to pornography, sexting, use of sexually explicit pictures or materials is extremely dangerous.
Over time, one can begin to believe and think that the problem is really not a ‘serious’ problem. Over just a little more time, a once somewhat infrequent escape habit will become extremely time consuming, addictive, and cause longer term consequences and damage both spiritually and relationally.
(Ed Farough is the author of this post. He works with SFT specifically in the area of sex addiction.)